I'm not an artist , things kids say, and an old picture of me

Most of you know that I look after my granddaughter . Every day I have to find things to do to keep her entertained since she is still of preschool age.  The other day I got the paints out and we decided to paint on styrofoam plates .  Now most of you know (if you have read my blog for awhile) that I in no way shape or form consider myself an artist. I mean, I cannot even draw a decent stick man, much less paint a picture.  But I will sit with her and "pretend" to paint just to encourage her artistic side.  She has actually painted some amazing things for a child her age from time to time.  Unfortunately, she has decided to try to imitate my painting which is really not a good thing for her to do, but she thinks her Nana is so awesome and wants to do whatever I do.  Poor baby....

Well here is my painting, which I know is just paint slopped on a plate lol.

 She looked at it and said "Wow Nana, that is a great ostrich !"  Ostrich????  Well ok, if you say so little one. I can live with that interpretation which is better than what I was thinking !

She had been watching me the whole time and basically did the same thing as me rather than come up with her own idea.   This would be her creation.

Now I learned with my own kids never to ask "what is that?"  Because even though they can see that they have painted a dog, or a rainbow, or a flower or something, we adults don't always see the dog in the painting and then they get very upset that you call their dog a bird or whatever.   So I always say "tell me about your painting"  which gives the child an opportunity to tell you what it actually is.  So when I told her to tell me about her painting, she said "This is a Whoopee Disaster"  Um, I didn't ask for any further explanation....   :-)

We were in the grocery store the other day and this particular store had one of those old time scales with the big round glass thingamajig with the numbers on it to show how much you weigh. Kind of like this one ---

  She says "Look Nana, there is one of those things you can "scan" yourself on"   Huh??  She tells me I need to get on it and scan myself .  I was laughing so hard about her using the word "scan" rather than "weigh", but I guess kids these days know more about scanning than weighing.   I told her No, Nana is not going to get on that thing with all these people around, but if she wanted to get on there she could.  She looks at me and says "No Nana, everyone already knows I am 4 years old" .   So I guess in her head, you "scan" yourself to see how old you are .....     Little ones think in weird ways.

I was looking through some pictures the other day and found this  one of me. I guess it was probably about 2010 .  I have since gotten old - er  but I am not posting a recent picture of me. I did that not long ago , the one where my granddaughter made us look like we were underwater. I don't like having my picture taken so it is rare for me to allow it.

That's it, nothing else to say today.

Have a beautiful week my dear readers.

Much love

Written in Blood (from the archives)

i wrote to heal myself , and i wrote to heal you , and as i wrote you crept silently into the corner of my mind , and with each word i wrote , your presence spread like warm spilled ink , filling my mind , my every waking moment , with the essence of you, the thought of you, the love of you

and then

i wrote my heart , with the blood dripping from the wound that was torn open once again , by thoughtless words, carelessly spoken, without consideration as to how they would sound to me , the one who touched your heart , to heal you , when your heart had been torn open by another whose words , were careless too

and so

i sewed up the wound and stopped the flow of words , written in blood from my heart , and now the words are stuck inside a closed and stitched up heart , that longs to open again, but fear hinders me now, the fear that my heart will be ripped open once again by you, my flame ,  the one that i love , and long to touch

but  if

i were to allow the words to flow again , covering you like warm spilled ink , drawing you near , letting you in, filling my mind,  until my every thought, my every waking moment was filled with the essence of you, the thought of you, the love of you

would you , with careless words, rip my heart open again?

or shall we leave it this way , so my every waking thought, every waking moment, is filled with memories of what we had, memories that make me smile, and make me glad for the time, the time we had when a dream was our reality

~Lia   

I never want to be able to say, I had to heal from you...

Broken (from the archives)

b
r o

      k

       e

             n

Vows


b

r o

      k

      e 

           n

Promises

b
r o

      k

      e

            n

Hearts

b
r o

      k

      e

           n

Dreams

b
r o

      k

      e

            n

Glass

b
r o

      k

      e

            n

Peace

b
r o 

      k

      e

            n

Trust

b
r o 

      k

      e

            n

Spirits

b
r o 

      k

      e

            n

Families

b
r o 

      k

      e

            n

Nations

S

            h
a

         t    
t

    e

r

        e

                d

World

~Lia 8/22/2015

Half a million

Five hundred thousand words that were never spoken

now caught in my throat where they shall remain

until I can spit them out or swallow them

the bitter with the sweet.

Would it have made a difference 

if those words had rolled off my tongue 

through the air into your ear?

I think not .

You never would have listened 

you never would have heard

Five hundred thousand words .

Or even just One .

***

~Lia

no title will fit this nonsense...

so here it is another day

another day with nothing to say

i tried and tried and tried to think

my lack of thought is starting to stink

maybe it is time to close this blog

go outside and play with the dog

or catch a ride with a crazy old man

who eats cold chili straight from the can

and holds me hostage in the back of his van

i will start to sing at the top of my voice

till finally he tells me that he has no choice

but to kick me out on the side of the road

because my singing voice is worse than a toad

i'll wander around till i find a shack

occupied by spiders and a snake that is black

i'll stay there for a day or two

or maybe until the moon turns blue

one day i will look out into the fog

and there will stand my faithful old dog

she'll lead me back to this little space

where once again i will take my place

in the make believe world called the twilight zone

where i write this crap that makes you moan (not that way!)

and now it is time to set you all loose

i hope you enjoyed my imitation of Seuss !!

~Lia  1/19/2016

The first day of the year 2016

 I didn't want to start the year out by "not" writing, though I am always kind of writing in in my head, mostly the usual nonsense, but sometimes something creative, though that usually happens after I go to bed in that time between being awake and drifting off to dream land (or dreamless).

Today was a day where I did almost nothing at all but sit and read.  My sofa (couch) is quite warm from my butt sitting there all day . 

I am thinking about getting a new one this year. I bought this one back in 2002 when I was working for the Brevard County Election Department .  So that makes it almost 14 years old.  I am trying to justify spending the money though. It is still in good shape and really comfortable with reclining seats on each end.  I don't know why I am telling you all this. I think because I really have nothing whatsoever to write about and I am just winging it to fill up space.

I actually made it up till midnight and beyond last night.  I went to bed just after 9 though.  My daughter went out for the evening and of course I got the pleasure of keeping my granddaughter who has a cold .  She was laying on the bed next to me and every time she would take a breath it sounded like a cooing pigeon and that kept me awake.  Then the fireworks started all over the neighborhood and that lasted well past midnight. So I read for awhile then just lay there listening to the fireworks and sometime in the night I drifted off and slept like a baby till morning.

I was looking for a reason to show off my beautiful grandson who is now a healthy happy growing little guy.  I'm still quite in awe of him and his little fighting spirit. When he was in the NICU I was sitting with him to give my daughter and son in law a break and Martin, the nurse who was on duty was telling me that he had also been on duty the night they flew Abel in from the Air Force Base.  He told me that everyone was so amazed at the progress this little boy had made in just a few days. He also told me that they worked on him for over two hours and at one point they all looked at each other and said "we are going to lose this one".  That still causes me to choke up when I think of it, especially after losing my other grandson almost two years ago  to the day that Abel was born . But Abel had other ideas. He wanted to live and so he fought his way back and 2015 turned out to be a good year after all because of one little baby's will to live.

Ok enough of that . Don't want to let my "feelers" feel too much hahaha.

In case you all haven't figured it out, I love my grandbabies.

This little one is my angel and the one who lives here in town. She also spent a couple of days in the NICU when she was born and it was her little brother that we lost two years ago, so you can imagine how much I cherish this little girl.

Well, this wasn't meant to be a blog about grandbabies but they were on my mind so there they are .

Last night I was thinking of my youngest daughter  who lives in Idaho.  It was shortly after midnight my time when it occurred to me that she was living in another year than I was at that moment. That was sort of weird and unsettling for some reason.  Time is a strange thing anyway...... but that is another blog.

I guess I should stop here .  I do have two other grandkids and sorry to tell you, but I will be talking about them a bit tomorrow hahaha.

Goodnight my dear ones

Somebody stole my man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somebody stole my man and I want him back !!

I waited all my life for a man like him and then one day , there he was and I fell totally and completely in love.

For years he was always there, gazing lovingly down at me while I sat writing my nonsense on the computer .

And then one day, he slipped away, or was stolen by some cheap two bit whore...... I really don't know for sure.

But the funny thing is, I didn't notice he was gone.  I had taken him for granted and he had become such a fixture in my life that I didn't see him anymore.

And now, I am horrified to realize that he is gone, and I never even noticed. Get that?  I am horrified that I didn't realize he was gone, not that he was gone. I mean, what do you expect from one like him anyway?  Not until the other day when I came upon some pictures of him and fell completely in love once again.

Now I am on a quest to find him and get him back.

He's mine and no hussy is going to get away with stealing him from me.  But now that I think about it, I probably don't want him back.  Any guy who could vanish so easily is not worth my time.

Then again, he is probably packed away in some box, hiding in the closet.

Hmmmm, I always suspected he might be gay...

If you see this man, please return him to me asap. I want to sell him on ebay  :-)

Oh and a song , I mean he IS a pirate after all ~

a long long time ago and once upon a time

I was scrolling through some blogs here on Blogger, none of my friends mind you, my friends seem not to be blogging much these days, but just random friends of friends .

It amazes me, the people who think they know exactly what happened way back in the beginning of time.  You know, no one really knows because no one was there and all we know is what has been passed down through stories and we all know how that goes. By the time it gets to thousands or millions of years later, that story is nothing like the real story.

So I feel like telling these know it alls, to shut up because they really don't know a stinking thing. I mean people will spend hours and hours arguing over where the first person came from. You don't know, you weren't there, so shut up and go do something productive like plant a garden and feed your family or something.

Ok, that was my rant for now since it IS Friday and I have not done a "rant" post in awhile.

Believe me, I could go on and on about this, but 3/4 ths of you are afraid to speak to me now since I am so mean, so I don't want to scare off the rest of you.

Ok, so now that I am on a rant roll, I'm kind of tired of hearing people whine about overpopulation of the earth.  Now I don't know if it is overpopulated or not.  But all these people who are so concerned about it and think they should dictate what others do , like not have so many kids, or abort your babies or whatever.......... I have a suggestion. If you are so concerned, why don't you kill yourself and help alleviate the problem ????   I mean really ........  


That one should get me in trouble lol.


The other day, I took two of my cameras and was going to head out and about to get some pictures. I thought I might run out to the beach too that afternoon since I have not been in a coon's age whatever that is. As I was driving, I noticed a cop behind me . I don't know why it is when a cop gets behind me and follows me for any distance, I start to feel guilty, like I did something wrong and they are just waiting to pull me over .  I am like the most law abiding citizen in the world , but this is how I feel when a cop follows me !

 I have another story about being followed by a cop , but I think I told it before and I don't want everyone to have to listen to the same story over and over now that I am half senile.

I've been doing some Fall cleaning this week. Yes, I know it is not Fall, but I am getting a head start and yes I am one of those old ladies who does both Spring and Fall cleaning.  Now that I am older, I could die any day, well anyone could die any day anyway, but the odds are better the older we get. So I don't want my kids to have to spend 6 months of their lives going through massive amounts of "stuff" , all of it useless .  And I don't want them to have to hire professional cleaners to scrub down the house in the event of my demise .   If I ever find out I am actually going to die real soon, I am going to throw everything out to the street and let strangers pick through it. That way my kids won't have to , and they won't have to argue about who gets what.  They all have their own "stuff", they don't need mine .   But I guess I will leave them some money that they can blow on "stuff "

Oops, I got sidetracked so I guess I will just stop here.

Bye

sometimes....

Sometimes when I don't know what to say, I stay silent , because sometimes silence speaks more than words . Sometimes words cannot convey what the mind or the heart thinks and feels.

Sometimes I have questions that remain unasked and I wonder if it is possible to choke on those unasked questions. Sometimes in silence, I hear the answers to those questions that I keep inside.

Sometimes I sit and listen to the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance on a day like today. Sometimes the thunder in the distance calms the thunder in my mind.

Sometimes late at night I  listen to the sound of the breeze as it blows gently through my open window . Sometimes I swear I can hear your voice in the sound of the breeze.

Sometimes if I listen hard enough I hear you say the words, the words I sometimes cannot say.

and

Sometimes your words are all I need as I sit inside my silence ~



~Lia 07/22/2015

Awkward mirror selfies

The other day I posted some pictures from the 4th and one of you made this comment.


"and bless you, not a selfie in the batch :) "


That got me thinking about this whole selfie phenomenon which I really have not participated in other than a few snaps from a webcam I used to have.  I've never been one to like having my picture taken. Even when I was a child, I hated it. Most of the pictures of me when I was a little kid, which weren't many, I am not smiling, or I am outright frowning or I just look awkward.  I hated picture day at school when they tried to force you to smile and there is nothing worse than a forced smile .  Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person most of the time and I smile often, but I have this problem smiling for a camera.

Even the professional photographers at my daughters' weddings had a hard time with me, and I think one of them got so frustrated with me, they were ready to throw me out of the portrait session completely. Which would have been fine by me, but my daughter would not have been happy.

So anyway, I have never gotten into this whole selfie thing, so today I decided I would try it. I first used my phone, but I suck at phone pictures. They are always blurry when I try to use the phone. My kids laugh at me about that because they can take perfect pictures with a phone and they figure since I do ok with a camera, I should be able to take great pictures with a phone.......Nope !!

So I said, "Ok, the phone is out, but there is a mirror and a camera"  After all, there are mirror selfies all over the internet.  I can do this.  Yes, I understand I could have set up the camera with the timer, but that is too much like having someone else take my picture.  Maybe another day.....

Oh, I never have figured out how people make their arms long enough to hold a camera up and take a selfie. They must have monkey arms or something.

Anyway, I put myself in front of the mirror in the bedroom and took a couple of pictures, but they seemed so far away, so I put my face right up to the mirror and then I had the problem of where to put the camera so I could see what I was taking ........it just didn't work. If I held it too far away, I kept trying to look over at the camera which resulted in my eyes rolling to the side or up in my head or some stupid way !!!  Hahaha

I did not get one good picture of me where I was not looking in some weird direction.  I finally said heck with it and put a pair of sunglasses on.  Oh and then I closed my eyes, and then I missed completely......

So, I am out of the selfie business for now, but I will share my awkward mirror selfies with you all here today.  Oh, you notice I am no longer a brunette.  Well, a few years ago when my hair started showing some gray, I fell into the vanity trap and started coloring it. I kept it as close to my natural color as possible, except for this one time when I used a different brand and it seemed kind of purple!!  My daughter laughed about that and all of her friends loved it, but I wasn't having that, no way no how.
This past year, I decided I was going to stop with that silliness and just be the old lady that I am. I figured since I will turn 60 this year, it was time. The girl that cuts my hair told me I should keep coloring it because my face was not old enough to wear it natural (OLD)  but I had made up my mind. So no more brunette. I am a granny and proud of it !

This was my first attempt hahaha, I missed completely as you see.  By the way, this one was in the bathroom.  There was better light in there :-)

After a few more attempts with resulting crazy eyes, I put my shades on.... I'm not sure where my eyes are looking behind those shades.

And finally, just close your eyes and you don't have to worry about it.  LMAO

I did get one where my eyes were looking straight ahead, but I looked mad in it and for some reason I thought my eyes looked like a fish, so I am not posting that one !!   I'll keep practicing though.

Ok, now you can laugh.........and laugh........and laugh........and make jokes or whatever. It's all good !!

Have a nice rest of the day. I am off to cook some chicken enchiladas which will last me 3 days.


Much love ~~~