“”Every heart has it’s sorrow, which the world knows not, and oftentimes we call a man cold when he is only sad” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Every now and then I read a quote that really speaks to me on a personal level. This particular one made me think of my dad. As most of you know, my mom died when I was ten years old. There were eight kids in our family. As you can imagine, it had a devastating effect on all of us. But it wasn’t until I was an adult with kids of my own that I finally understood the toll it took on my dad’s emotional well-being. I could go into a long story about how he changed, but I’m not going to do that here. I will just say that when I finally understood his pain, it broke my heart and made me love him all the more. He once told my brother that after mom died, everyone would come up and ask him how the kids were doing, which is understandable. But, he said, no one ever asked him how HE was doing. My dad was a good man. He changed after she died and back then I thought he was cold, but really, he was just sad.
It’s what I felt for three years after my daughter took her life and after we lost our dear Michael.
So the next time you come across someone who seems cold, maybe look closer. Maybe they are just sad.
Lia 02/13/2022
I had my Mother living with me for 13 years and years after she passed the same thing occurred to me...did not see it at the time because I was too "busy" with things...looking back on it it's very clear....hard to believe I missed it. Better late than never? Don't know...now I feel that I am the same...mostly sad...
ReplyDeleteThat is a long time to be the caregiver for your mom, but I do remember when she was alive and you were caring for her. That shows how much you loved her and of course you are sad. I lost my mom when I was a kid and although I am better , I still get sad when I think of her.
DeleteShe was with me from early 2001 until December 6, 2015...been almost a decade since then which is a bit hard to believe. Last almost 10 years was full time hands on dementia care which is something one does not easily leave behind but at this point it's important to live in the here and now.
DeleteYour grand-daughter has to be rapidly growing up and I am sure you have your hands full with taking care of her. I wish you the energy to do it...
I have to admit that all is well here and I enjoy every second of low stress, low drama living...to me this is as good as it gets!
My granddaughter turned 13 in September. So far she is the model teenager, but I am well aware that could change. Energy?? I have no idea what that is anymore !
DeleteWOW! The "Terrible Thirteens!" I knew she was about there...but was not sure...the last decade (decades?) has been a blur. Regardless...GREAT to hear ALL is going well. Another 5-7 days of winter weather coming. I DO hope March gets us out of it....REALLY happy to NOT be in Minnesota!
ReplyDeleteMost times others do not see our sadness or pain.
ReplyDelete