It's hard to believe that a new year is starting. It seems time just goes by like the speed of sound, all a blur in my mind and memory.
I am trying to remember what took place over this past year. Right before the new year (one year ago) I took my granddaughter up to visit my son, his wife and my new granddaughter. They live up near Asheville, NC so I really looked forward to being up there. They have the most gorgeous view of the mountains from their house. It was really nice to just sit there and not think about anything. The weather forecast was for snow while we were there, but they kept pushing that back a day and it never did snow the whole time we were there. That was disappointing to say the least because I had hoped to surprise my granddaughter who had never seen snow. What we did get to experience is bone-chilling cold! The temps were in the 20's and it was extremely windy. I swear I did not get warm until we left NC and went to my daughter's house in SC where it was slightly warmer, and she lit a fire in her fireplace. That is when I finally thawed out, seriously! While we were in NC we drove up into the mountains and there was a lot of icicles hanging from the side of the hill and the trees, so my granddaughter was happy since she had never seen icicles either. Me, I had seen my share of them growing up in NW Indiana. There were always icicles hanging from the roof of my dad's house. We would knock them down and use them as popsicles! We didn't worry about them being dirty. They also made good spears to fight my brothers with.
Last New Year's Eve I stayed up to greet the year with my granddaughter. This year I went to bed early because she was at her friend's house and I saw no real reason to stay awake as one year just leads to another and it seems the world doesn't get any better, not that I expect it to. But at my age, a new year just means I am closer to that day when there are no more years so why celebrate? Darn, I have become quite cynical.
So 2023, what did it bring to me? I can't remember much about January. It seemed to go by very quickly whereas in the past January seemed to take forever. February, hmmmm, can't remember much about that. One funny thing was on Valentine's Day I picked my granddaughter up from school. She got into the car and started laughing. I asked her what was so funny. She says "Nana, I got my period today", (her first and she would kill me if she knew I wrote about that here. Good thing my blog is my secret life lol.) I said "wow, of all days you get it on Valentine's Day". She started laughing and said, "Yes, and I am naming it Cupid!" Only she would come up with something like that. I laughed, but inside I was thinking how can this be? She was only 9 and a half when she came to live with me and now this. Where did the time go??
March is a blur, April was easier for me this year, but I could not escape the memories of all the pain various April's have thrown at me. I won't go into all that, I've written some in the past, but no sense in repeating myself. Suffice it to say, April is not a kind month.
May, May 12th I get word that my little grandson's biological dad committed suicide. I don't even know what to say. He never had anything to do with the boy, and the boy only knows my late daughter's husband as his dad. But I can't help but look at him sometimes and think that he is an "orphan", both parents gone, both parents from drugs. I HATE the world sometimes.
Somewhere during the year, I made 22.5 miles on my bike. My goal was always just 15, but I made it farther, and then summer came along with temperatures in the hundreds and heat indexes of 108-116 for a good part of July and August. I don't do heat very well these days, so my bike riding was pushed aside for a while.
I am thankful for the bike trails here in Florida because I don't feel safe riding on the streets and road with the crazy drivers.
August, my granddaughter started back to school, middle school. She is such a happy positive smart girl and so far, she hasn't developed that middle school angst that so many of them go through. My 4 daughters were awful in middle school, and I was not looking forward to some depressed adolescent in my home, but nope, she is great, always smiling, always happy. I will write more about her at some point. My grandson started preschool also and that has been good for him. He finally started talking and now he won't shut up!! He is also happy. I don't ever see him upset and the only time he isn't smiling is when he is sick. In spite of the circumstances, these kids have been a blessing in my life.
Still, I get sad sometimes when I think about why they are here with me. I wonder how my daughter could have left them that way. But I know I will never have the answers to that question and to be honest, things have a way of working out for the best. I miss her though. I wish she would have gotten help and turned her life around...
November was nice. I had all of my children and all but one of my grandchildren here for several days. We had a nice Thanksgiving dinner and even though I was exhausted after they all left, I would not have changed anything.
In December my brother came for a visit. He lives in Missouri, so I don't see him much, but he tries to come once a year. He stayed a week and then it was time for Christmas and now that is past. I have taken down all of the lights and decorations. My house was quite festive this year as my granddaughter did most of the decorating. I think she has a talent for that, so I just left it to her. If left to me, well we would have a tree, but that is about it hahaha!!
Now it is 2024. What is it going to bring? I don't know what the powers that be have in store for us, but it doesn't look good.
But I am not going to worry about that. There is nothing I can do, other than be prepared which I am to the best of my ability. What I can do is make my little world the best it can be for myself, for my family and friends. If I do that, then we can face whatever the wider world throws our way.
Have a beautiful, safe and happy new year my friends!
Love,
Lia
